marriage
by American Life League

Is Your Partner Worth Saving A Marriage?

Anyone that has said marriage was easy had to be single! There is nothing easy about merging your life with another person. Several decades ago, people did not divorce because they were in circumstances in which it was simply not an option – women could not support themselves and society did not accept it, among many others. Now, however, marriages are ending left and right. If you are in a marriage that is on the rocks, it may be a good time to consider whether your partner and the life you have is worth saving a marriage. As difficult as it is to make a marriage work, it is even harder to save one that is already damaged.

In looking at saving a marriage, you should not only look at current circumstances, but also the history the two of you share together. How did you meet? What was it that made you fall in love? Were you ever really in love? At some point, you should consider the good times instead of only dwelling on the bad. If you and your spouse are experiencing a bad time, it is easy to block out that good times ever existed. However, you should be fair to yourself and your partner.

Then, it is time to look at the bad times. Did either of you cheat? Are there other major issues that have occurred between you that one of you has a hard time dealing with? Sometimes these major issues get buried over time, but the resentment remains and it eats away at the relationship. Do you find yourself being mad at your spouse over little things or for no reason at all? If this is the case, you should really look at the underlying issues you have.

At some point, you should close your eyes and picture what the perfect spouse would be. Not Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but the real characteristics you would like to have in your spouse. Then you should step back and see how your spouse measures up. You should be very careful to be realistic in this exercise. If you have unrealistic expectations, you will never be happy with anyone. However, if the essential core of your spouse is deficient, you may be selling yourself short by staying.

Although saving a marriage is difficult, you should not rush off and get a divorce. You should, however, try to be fair to you and your spouse and choose to both try wholeheartedly or to let go completely.


Comments

  1. josh12rox -

    Is saving yourself for (who might be) the one really worth it?

    I didn’t take that path so it actually seems a bit absurd. I’m curious about what the other side of the coin thinks.

    Question was asked outta respect so show some.

  2. Chris R -

    I just wanna see your opinions on this.
    Is it worth it to go through the all the trouble on keeping yourself pure for your future wife or husband?

  3. Only Business -

    … drug abuse? can the doubt or mistrust ever leave? please serious answers only.. thanks.

  4. Stevalicious -

    I am concerned about STDs since condom failure is a very real thing with horrifying consequences. As a result, I think it’s a good idea to save sex for marriage. However, being in college, it seems that 99.9 percent of everyone has sex by the second or third date. I’m afraid that no girl will want to be with me me since I don’t want to have a sexual relationship. What should I do? Should I stick to my plan or should I risk condom failure and become sexually active?

  5. Keegan -

    I dont know what to do. should i leave or just put up.theres never any affection in this relationship. there is a nine year age difference maybe thats the reason for him being unaffectionate.? we are not talking this past 2 to 3 weeks its just not fair on my kids. i came from a family where my parent s seperated so im wondering is it me who is wrong, i also put on weight maybe he is not attracted to me anymore.?

  6. Rishi -

    Okay I’m about to be 25 years old and I have not done it, not even oral. My relationships always last about 3 months tops(If I’m lucky). I’m not religious, but have wanted to save it for marriage just because it would make it more special. However, these urges to do it keep getting stronger and not just that, but I don’t think I will ever get married. I am so tempted to do it with the next Mr. right now that walks into my life, but it scares me because I don’t want to go through the pain(the older I get the more scared I get of man’s junk! in my place)…..What should I do? And to clarify this is not just about getting over it, but also because I want to know what sex feels like. I’m getting older and let’s face it the older I get the less I’m going to attract guys. But the thought of being 50 and still a virgin? ridiculous and no just because I have waited this long does not mean I should keep waiting. I have been ready to have sex for years now, but sadly I am picky when it comes to emotional attachment with a guy. They bore me after a while so it’s not like I will get my heart broken if I just do it after a few weeks into the dating with Mr. right now……Give me details and you experiences! Please.

  7. Patrick -

    Wow, where do I start? I feel i fell into my relationship a bit too fast and a bit too young. I have now been with my partner for 11 years and married for almost 8. We have two wonderful children age 6 and 8, but recently have been arguing almost constantly (although trying to keep this to when the children are not around) mostly over where to live, which is a pretty big issue. I feel that we rushed into the relationship before either of us really knew what we wanted in life and now we are older are finding that we want to take two completely different paths. neither of us has any experience of divorce, so I have no idea how this will affect our kids, but from what I read it’s not going to be good. I so don’t want to hurt them but is there any point in continuing when ultimately we want such different things?

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